another pointless blogpost.

 

HAPPY EASTER!

He is risen! he is risen indeed!

church today was excellent. pastor steve does  an amazing job at getting the word across to EVERYONE.

It was a good way to start out the morning of this glorious day.

so im going to change up my hair a little bit. i cant wait. i will post pictures when i doooo!

my birthday is in 22 days. 19 here i come!

kim will be here in 2 weeks.

im FREAKING out. i miss her! i cannot wait til she gets here. that day too, will be glorious. 

just in a different way.

i have s hopping problem

the first step is addmitting you have an addiction. and i addmit to it freely.

its bad. and it needs to stop. 

ive decided that when i get the urge tos hop i will go running/working out.

so by next week i should be able to run 5 marathons in 1 hour right? 

not okay.

i bought new shampoo and conditioner. Redken. teh gold bottle.

i love it.

one use and my hair feels 10 times healthier. 

that was a good 50 dollars spent. 

(yikes)

this post was dumb and it waisted a good 5 minutes of my life that i wont be getting back.

byeeee!

loud music and warm summer nights

i cant get enough. just cant get enough.. of BRENNAN! he is totes perf. even though he is leaving on his mission in almost 2 months! not ok. but its fine i guess. its what he wants to do so whatevs, i support him (:
we took a lovely jont to the pond/lake thing the other day its was sooo nice. the weather was amazing, the view was great and the boy was even better. he has done a lot for me and i cant thank him enough. he is always here for me when i need anything. a shoulder to cry on, someone to just ramble too, someone to vent about my day to, someone to take shopping with me because my main chick is in cali, soomeone to go to lunch, dinner, with. he is all around my guy. my person i can count to to come running when i need him.
we had a hickup in the road a bit ago. but thats over now and things are better then ever. were cute we know. we dont you telling us. but it sure is nice to hear (:

and she, my fellow blogger people, is the bestie that lives in cali. we skyper almost erryday. i cant get enough of her lovely face and our hillarious random topics. you betcha we'll be making a vlogg when shes out here. it'll be steller. just you wait. this picture is super crappy but it sau i miss u on the paper that she is so nicely creeping behind. whhhhy does she have to be so far away?! gahhh so dumb. but shes a beaut. and i love her.

were getting pictures done when she comes out here. i cant wait! i'll be greeeat.

SOOO its almost my birthday. ooonneee month away!! i cant wait. whoop whoop! 19 here i come!
i bought new shoes today. i love them. i cant wait till they get here. because they are cute, i think they'll make me want to work out more. (i hope)
well luhhh youu! byeee!

make it rain!

money money money.
i work full time,
my only day of f is sunday, so you betcha im going to be staying out late tonight (hopefully) partying it up.

KIM IS COMING HERE FOR MY BIRTHDAY!
im just a little bit excited.
scratch that
im a lot excited.

were going to st George for a day. we will definitely be by the pool the ENTIRE time.
pictures the next, then my birthday!! i cant wait.
i love her.
lots and lotss.

i need my best friend.
shes the only one who truly understands my whole life and all my problems, and what i do and why i do it.
she is my sister from an other mister. and i love her.
did i mention that i love her??

i have too many clothes.
there i said it.
its bad. i dont have any more room to put them!
i need a gigantic closet.


when im rich i will build i HUGE closet. 
and i'll buy more shoes.
like i need anymore right?

i feel good. that last post i just needed to rant. and i feel better now.
thank you blogger for being my open diary for the world
gahh
 p.s. if you live in utah and need pictures hit up Gubler Photography.
they rock,
and they are priced very well.
and they will make you laugh no doubt.

love you all
byyeeee

just let me bitch for this moment

just why.
why do people have to be such dickheads and play people like its there job.
i dont get it.
ive been played. again.
im done.
whhhy. why does this happen?
i put myself into this situation. i get it. but why did he have to do this.
i found something out that he doesnt know that i know. and im pissed to say the least. im hurt. frustrated. annoyed.
i let him get to me and i shouldn't have.
sham eon me. slap my wrist, whatever. 
but when you fall for someone you do dumb things. and i did those dumb things. i let myself be vulnerable and he  struck without knowing at the perfect time.

like when you convince someone that they are someone special and all the things that he did, and then slap it in your face by telling someone else, that he shouldnt be talking to, the exact same things?!
like who does he think he is?!
what did he think we had?!
was it all just a fucking joke?
is it a thrill to fucking play girls?

i dont get it. i just dont get it.

i put so much into this "relationship"?  if you can even call it that.
to me it was, but i guess not to him. right?
like i work 10 hour days but i still go to see him because he says he misses me, and i miss him, and to relieve the days stress away,to unwind, and i get this?!
 like hes telling an other girl the same thing!
who knowss maybe even more then just this one girl. who the hell knows.
i dont want to know. scratch that. i do want to know. i want to know the damn truth. 

whatever. Whatever.
im done.

frustration

why do we let people influence our thoughts so much?
We could have something set that we want and someone could say or do something, anything and it can change what youve been wanting, or what you think youve been wanting.

its hard to decide. do you do what you want, or do you please the people you love and change your mindset. 

i have a battle going on in my head.
im only going to live once, so do what i want to with the right mind.
or who cares if you only live once, you need to do what you want, and please people at the same time.
but how do yo please people and yourself at the SAME time?
you cant can you?
so what do you do.

if i'll regret not doing it then i should just do it even though its permanent. or just not worry about it. 

i dont know what i want.

actually i do. i want to do it. 
but should i?
should i do it even if it causes problems with the people im taking the opinions from?

what if the people im taking the opinions from arent going to be in life int he future, and i listened to them and i didnt do it, when i shouldve just done it and said screw it im doing it because i want to. 

but i want to make them happy as well as myself. 
 this sucks.  oh well..

on a better note! its my dads birthday! he got a gun from us kiddos and were all going to comedy club tonight and having a good time with the family like we always do. were the kuchers its always a good time (:

FYI i quit drinking. its been super easy. i got soo sick last time i drank and i thought to myself, "was it really worth it?"
and it wasnt. it was stupid, i was miserable. plus its not that great for your health and i need all the help i can get. so i did myself a favor and stopped. yyyyaaayyyy

side note; brennan leaves on his mission in 102 days. im going to go crazy when he leaves.. gahhhh i dont want him to go , but i know he wants to go supa bad.. he's just going to get letters from me throughout the whole 2 years. its fiiiiiine (:

Kims coming to visit me for my birthday. i cant wait. im soo stoked. i miss her like crazy. all i need is my kimmy and its all better. i love her. shes seriously the best person i know. she has gone through so much and still keeps her head held high. shes truly an inspiration to me, to everyone she meets she puts a smile on their faces. i love her. 

welll  this was longer then in was anticipating, ooohh welll. BYYYEEEEE